by no accident

I'll quote myself from a post back in January...

"One of the biggest things that sticks out in my mind from being in Haiti is surprisingly not how much we have compared to how little they do. That was blatantly obvious, and I could have told you this fact without ever stepping foot in the country. Instead, it was the experience of finally giving God one full uninterrupted week of my complete devotion and utter dependence. And what I will also never forget is the experience of returning home to a life that simply gets in the way of my life with God."

As I think back over the last 7 days, I nearly shake while reading my own words. This past week has been one of the most painful growth experience in my walk with Christ thus far. Trials are always difficult, but coming face to face with spiritual warfare in my own front yard was wrecking and sobering all at once. What I can be certain of is that there is a purpose, that God is in control, and that His perfect timing means I am a part of this experience by no accident.

I look down at my knee and see a small bruise. A physical wound from a spiritual war. I have never put so much of my life on hold as I have in the last week, and with no other agenda than to prayerfully seek His face, His guidance, His strength, His healing. To give Him my complete devotion and utter dependence. Sure, leaving for Haiti means putting life on hold for His sake, but that seems easy to do when you vacate the area. It was coming home that was the difficult part. Coming home to a life that simply gets in the way of my life with God. I can't begin to understand all of the intricacies of why God has me where I am at this moment, but I am certain that He is providing the perfect opportunity for me to rid myself of every last thing that stands in the way of His presence with me here in my everyday life.

Learn a name.

I've been revisiting Nehemiah this week. This is not my writing, but instead another convicting story from Kelly Minter, the author of the Nehemiah study book.


"Do you know the name of a poor person?" A young man in his twenties who was sharing about his experiences as a missionary in Moldova posed the question to me in church. His phrase was tricky because if he'd said, "Do you care about the poor?" I might have tossed it in the drawer where you keep all the stuff you've heard a million times and are supposed to ponder but probably won't do much with.

When he asked if I knew the name of a poor person he exposed a glaring gap in my Christianity: Whose name did I know? Not whose face had I passed on 21st Street on my way to grab coffee; not what homeless man had I handed a dollar for the paper he peddles at the stoplight; not what anonymous tsunami victim had received an online donation I'd made. Whose name did I know?

I was left to consider this very important question because if I didn't know the name of a poor person, I didn't really know a poor person. I always knew that if God's heart was for anything it was for the least of these: the suffering, sick, needy, uneducated, foreigner, lost, lonely - this much was clear. And it's true that these were people I cared about, prayed for, and on whose behalf I tithed, but how many of them called me friend? Who had my phone number, been to dinner at my house, or sat beside me at church? Without condemnation, I had to recognize that I was someone who cared for the poor mostly from a distance but who had yet to intimately involve herself. My first step: Learn a name.

In the Law of Moses God commanded the Israelites to leave their extra sheaves, olives, and grapes for the alien, fatherless, and widow - for all the people who didn't have what the Israelites had and who didn't have the means to get what they had. At the end of this recurring command the Lord gave his people an intriguing reason for why He required this, "Remember that you were slaves in Egypt. That is why I command you to do this" (Deut. 24:22). 

God didn't want them to leave their excess food for the poor and outside because these people were hungry, because they needed community, because they couldn't provide for themselves, because He loved them? Wasn't that why? Oh I'm sure those were all reasons, but I believe that God first had to deal with that sneaky mind-set, the one that tries to trick us into thinking that when we step over a stalk of wheat to leave it for the poor we're doing something really noble, plain over-the-top gracious. That we're going above and beyond by giving away what is rightfully "ours."

The Lord was staving off this kind of thinking by saying, "Hold your fancy horses. Remember you used to be slaves too! Don't forget to tap into what that felt like." The Israelites were no strangers to poverty, oppression, or powerlessness as ones who had once been enslaved to Egypt. It was only because of God's deliverance they were now free, only because of His goodness they were blessed with flourishing fields and bursting branches. By remembering their once low estate, they were poised to welcome the foreigner, fatherless, and widow, not out of self-righteousness, guilt, or duty, but out of the love God had shown them. 

Awestruck

I started a new study this week for my morning quiet times and even though I'm only on day two of seven weeks...I'm loving it already. I'm studying Nehemiah through a book by Kelly Minter. This morning I was struck by some harsh truth that Kelly mentioned and simply had to share.

In the very beginning of Nehemiah (1:5), he attributes the word "awesome" to the Lord, which can be translated as "awe-inspiring." Kelly then asks you to describe the last time you were awestruck by God. And then the whammy....(from p.17 if you own it)....

"I'll be the first to admit that I long to be awestruck in God's presence more than I am. I believe my lack of awestruck moments isn't because God is lacking in awesomeness but because I settle for so much less. I'm willing for my worship experience to be mediocre as long as I'm eating at a fabulous restaurant with friends after church. I'll settle for far less than awestruck in my prayer time, assuming I've got other forms of community planned for the day. When our bills are being paid, our children are behaving, we've got multiple outlets of fun to plug into, and life is generally fulfilling, do we really need something as dramatic as awestruck? This can often be the mentality, but being entertained by earthly pleasures cannot compare to being awed in God's presence."

Dwell on that for a bit...

Road Trip!

My sweet friend Katie (yes, she's always sweet) and I are heading on a road trip today. It's been planned for months, but the timing couldn't be more perfect. We're heading to Greenville, NC. My old stompin grounds. I have mixed emotions. But, I'm oh so thrilled to be able to see my old roomie who is now expecting her first precious baby!

We're heading 4.5 hours away in order to go to my old church's women's event. Four years ago I attended this event for the first time, all by myself, just hoping to hear something. I was in college and feeling lonely. Oh, I had friends and we were close, but I was lonely from keeping my Savior from the depths of my heart. I longed for His embrace and didn't know it. So I went, for 2 days, all by myself, and sat....and cried. Lysa Terkeurst spoke for that event and she crushed me. It was a kind, sweet, tap you on the shoulder at the perfectly right time kind of crush. Her story spoke right to the depths of that place that needed filling, but she wouldn't fill it...she simply touched it and let God do the filling.

Here's the ironic part.... I now live just a hop skip and a jump away from Lysa. Her Proverbs 31 Ministries home base is just around the bend from my church. So yes, if I really wanted to see her I could just go on a quick 30 minute drive. But this trip isn't just about hearing Lysa speak again. That's kind of like the excuse. The 4.5 hours is what Katie and I need. Time. Time to sit together, undistracted, and talk....or be silent. That's the thing I like about her most. We can say everything or nothing and still feel like our worries have been heard because after all, its God that does the real listening. It's also God that does the real talking and I'm so thankful to have a friend that listens to the Holy Spirit in our times together. Not just for her own sake, but for mine. So many times she'll speak right to the heart of what I need to hear simply because she lets God talk right through her to me.

So...yes, we're driving 4.5 hours to talk, listen to Lysa a little, and then talk for another 4.5 hours coming home the next day. Give us a break...we're women, and we've got a lot of words to use up! I'm certain our husbands will thank us later.

Openhandedness

Generosity. (and the cursor blinks...and blinks)



I don't have a clue how to start this one, but it's heavy on my heart. Just yesterday Pastor Rob opened our hearts to a passage that speaks (and most certainly does not beat around the bush) about robbing God, Malachi 3:8-10.
   "Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. 
   "But you ask, 'How do we rob you?'
   "In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse-the whole nation of you-because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessings that you will not have enough room for it."
Southbrook folks, remember this? (shake head yes) If you don't, then you were either not at church or unconscious for an hour. Both of which mean you should check it out now.

I titled this post Openhandedness because when I searched for synonyms of Generosity it was one of the many that came up. I find it awfully easy to understand generosity in terms of it's synonym, that I cannot rob God of anything if I have an opened hand and quit clutching that which is not mine. It's not rocket science. Generosity isn't an above and beyond kind of word that only describes a few special people. It's not something to strive for one day. If you have a hand, you're fully resourced. It's simply letting go, or opening your hand, to the things that God provided you with in the first place.

I find it awfully ironic as well that once my hands are opened and giving back to God the things that are His, it is also much easier to receive His abundant blessings in response to that obedience. After all, if I stretch out my clenched fists and say, "Alright God, take what's oozing out between my fingers." Isn't He more likely to say, "Well, now that I've cleaned up your scraps, looks like you don't have room in your hands for me to give you anything back." And we seriously sit and wonder why we aren't receiving God's blessings? Uhmm, hello?!? When you learn to open your hands and outstretch your arms, then He'll give you the blessings that only those with openhandedness can even attempt to hold.

When You're Bored

Yesterday, just like always, immediately following breakfast I grew bored and wondered what I was going to do with allll of my day while Phil quickly realized that Saturday morning cartoons weren't an option. :o) We decided to really get to work on the kitchen. We're in the midst of a cheap overhaul. Rather than the quite large figure that Lowes gave us (a comma was involved), we've been able to create the same effect for the simple price of 2 cans of paint.  Before parting ways we reminded each other that the usual jam sessions during work projects wouldn't be happening without a radio...it was almost a pep-talk to ourselves. With Phil outside sanding cabinet doors and me inside elbow deep in painting cabinet interiors, the morning was growing even more boring. Not 30 minutes later I heard the gravel driveway crunching and Phil starts talking with someone out front.

I walk out to find 2 older women on the porch and a 3rd man still sitting in the car. The scene was familiar to me, we had encountered a similar one at a friends house last year. The two women, as sweet as can be, came with a simple message and handed us each a small magazine. Ironically, mine was all about social media. This opened an entire conversation that I'm certain they weren't ready for about our 7 project and the truths surrounding why we were doing it. Cutting out excess in order to deliberately make room for God's whispers to be heard and His heart to fill ours. The conversation continued to a message they came to share that I simply can't agree with because it's just not biblical, but their curiosity about the decisions we have recently made was undeniable. We talked a bit more about the concept of a cluttered (but sadly typical) life that gets in the way of God. They left a bit later, hoping to come back and talk more another time.

Now, I'm not naive, I do realize that they'd love to come back and talk about their  message. I don't really think they're chomping at the bit to hear more about this crazy 7 thing. But any other time I'd most likely dismiss everything, even their presence in front of me, and just try to get back to work. Letting the noise of the radio drown out any further thoughts. Instead, Phil and I realized the door that was opened. We gladly shared how Christ was working in our life at the moment. We also spent the next 30 minutes after they left digging in the Bible, testing all of what we heard, and confirming their false message. You see, when you clear away some clutter and are willing to let God use your time, He'll most certainly deliver....and sometimes right onto your doorstep.

Day 1

No, I'm not updating daily for the next 7 months...I just didn't have a catchy title for this post.


Two things:

1. Silence is scary. Seriously. Without tv or internet, my entire morning was spent eating breakfast and wandering the halls of my home. I didn't know what to do with myself. There was no tv or radio in the background to fill space and my mind had nothing to wander to without facebook as an option. Not to mention we live in the sticks, so it's already creepy quiet to begin with. Finally I heard my phone ring when a sweet friend called to see how the first 10 hours of this whole thing was going...realizing she couldn't just text me the question. I was so thankful to hear her voice and put an end to the silence. By that time I had realized that a "to do list" was in order. While I had numerous things that clearly needed to get done, I explained to her that part of me simply wanted to revolt like a little child and not admit how much soul-sucking time I had previously wasted on media. As if sitting on my rump in front of a turned off tv and a closed laptop was truly proving anything...

2. I cheated. Yup, already! On that list of things to do, I needed to plan a trip to the grocery store. But, you see, I don't just go all whilly nilly with this...I'm a planner because I'm an ultimate forgetter and a hopeful saver. If I don't it write down, I will not remember to get it. On top of that, I plan meals out for the week, search for deals, and (yup, you guessed it) use coupons. Realizing that I always throw away the paper circulars and instead search for store discounts online....I faced my first 7 dilemma. Rather than sending myself into shock, I made the executive decision to use foodlion.com in order to expedite this process and continue on my savings streak. So sue me. Next week I'll keep the paper...

Month One: Media

Nope, I haven't forgotten...7 is quickly approaching it's debut in the Rimar home. (Not sure what 7 is? Check is out here!) Month One starts in a week and we'll be giving up 7 forms of media for the entire month of February.

Here is what we'll be doing without:
~TV
~Internet*
~Radio
~Movies
~Video Games
~Texting**
~Phone Apps
*The use of internet is allowed for email. While we are more than happy to check out of cyberworld for a month, others who get in touch primarily through email (mainly work) might not understand this phenomena. In addition, I know you all are eager to watch us succeed squirm through the month, so Phil said I'd be able to update the blog on how things are going.
**Texting, at times, is much more efficient and even appropriate than a phone call. So, texting for this purpose is allowed, whereas texting simply so I can occupy my boredom or avoid actual human conversing (??) won't happen.

Let me also preface this by saying that of these seven things, the only two that actually suck the life out of us are the tv and internet. The rest are simply every form of media I can think of in the house (which happen to equal 7) that we could possibly default to given a 4 week depreciation of our two favorites. You see, the purpose of this isn't to remove one form of excess only to replace it with another. It's to simply remove the excess and deliberately make room for God.

So what might you give up for a month? Come on...you knew I was going to ask! A handful of ladies have decided to walk alongside me during this process. Each will be giving up at least 1 form of media...some for the entire month, others for specific days of the week during that month. My sweet friend Katie even shared with me that in The Cove at Southbrook they recently asked the kids to think about what is taking their time from God. Her son's answer was his new DS. Now, he may regret being so honest come next month when his new DS gets put on the shelf for an entire day each week, but I'd bet he'll also quickly understand that making sacrifices for the Lord can sometimes hurt...if we really are honest. But in the end they are oh so worth it (and the pain often temporary) if only we seek Him wholeheartedly.

So...what's it gonna be?!

An Anniversary

Today marks 2 years since a devastating earthquake shook Port-au-Prince, Haiti. My heart breaks for those who have nothing, still. But I am so comforted in knowing that our God of hope and strength has a plan and is moving in this country.


Will you spend some time today and pray with me?

I'm praying for God's plan and perfect timing. For the lives of those who are still hurting, that they too will find comfort in our Father. For those who are new to trusting God's plan, that their faith will continue to grow and spread to others. For leaders, like Pastor Rene Joseph, and their steadfastness in chasing after the plans God has for them and their people.

I'm praying for the next team from Southbrook that is going to Port-a-Prince in just 1 week. That the 6 of them (Bethany, Allen, Andrew, Krystal, Austin, and Pastor Geoffrey) will be able to continue the vision of Southbrook Church in marking the world. That they are able to further extend the relationships being built with those in the area, being led by the Holy Spirit themselves, and showing the love of God.

I'm also praying for ways that I can continue to tangibly help. Whether that's going to Haiti, financially assisting others who are going, sponsoring a child, sending supplies, or anything else.

none are benign.

Ladies, I pray this morning that these words are as convicting to each one of you as they are to me.


From Proverbs 31 Ministries Daily Devotions:
Mean Girls
by Lynn Cowell

“But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” Colossians 3:8 (NIV)

Standing in line for the concert gave my family plenty of people-watching time. As girls and guys made their way to the back of the line, I pointed out all the immodest clothing. “Why would she wear those in public?” “Oh my! I can’t believe she feels comfortable dressed like that!” I commented as one-by-one they passed us.

I must have shared quite a few of these statements because my oldest teenaged daughter finally said, “Mom, you are being mean!”

I felt so small. I hadn’t thought I was being mean. I was simply pointing out to my girls how not to dress. But my daughter was right.

The truth is, my girls already know how not to dress; I have been teaching them since they were five. And now I was teaching them how to judge another woman. I was teaching them to be mean.

Since that night at the concert I’ve come to the conclusion that mean girls often come from mean mamas. When we point out other’s flaws, we are modeling for our kids a judgmental heart. Instead, what we mamas need to demonstrate is compassion.

Our key verse today says we are to rid ourselves of slander, which means a scandalous remark. In fact, in the verses before and the verses that follow, it doesn’t mention of any time when it is okay to slander others.

One way we are overcoming a mean spirit in our family is through accountability. When my girls are gossiping or putting another girl down, I gently point it out and my girls do the same for me.

At first, having my child call me out was a bit uncomfortable. But making this a family issue, rather than just me correcting my kids, is bringing us to a deeper level of kindness.

Like me, you may be surprised to discover just how often you say unkind things . If you watch each other’s words, both you and your child will become more compassionate, less judgmental and a whole lot more careful about the words you say! It’s working for me; I know it will work for you too!

Dear Lord, I want to rid myself of slander and in turn teach my children to do the same. Please cleanse my heart of judgment and help me to set a guard over my mouth. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Application Steps:
In the next 24 hours, spy on yourself. Are your words building or breaking?
When you have a critical thought toward a person, intentionally look for a positive remark you can make about them.

Reflections:
My words are either building or breaking; none of them are benign.

Power Verses:
Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (NIV)

7

It's been a while, I know...let's jump right in!

I found another book.... Seriously, I think I've become that girl. Anywho...let me first start this post with this... I've heard it before, and I must agree, that it is often scarier when God does answer a prayer than when he doesn't.

Saturday evening Phil and I met with other LifeGroup (small group) leaders from Southbrook in order to check in with our Champions (leaders over the leaders). After some scrumptious dinner, we spent some time talking about our expectations for the year for both our groups and ourselves. I shared with everyone that I truly didn't know what to expect from 2012. If you had asked me one year ago today what I could have expected God to do in my life I never would have answered with any, let alone all, of the following:
   Serving at church
   Going on 2 international mission trips
   Faithful tithing
   Joining a LifeGroup
   Becoming a member of Southbrook
   Seeing Phil get baptized
   An eagerness for sacrificial giving
   Leading a LifeGroup
   Discovering a passion for missions
A complete transformation from fan to follower, and God gets all of the glory. This time last year, Phil and I finally realized that we both had to relinquish all control to our Father and submit our lives and our marriage fully to His plan for us. What happened throughout 2011 was intense, amazing, and something neither one of us could have predicted! So, Saturday night I simply shared that I could only hope and expect to continue this year, just as last, with complete submission of myself to whatever the Lord has in store for us.

On the car ride home, Phil and I confessed to each other that while we are outrageously blown away at all that God has done within our hearts in the past year, we certainly feel as though we could have given more in our relationship with Him. If He could work in such great ways through us then, how much more could we let Him live all out in us this year if we actually came to Him every single day, really read His word EVERYday (truth: we failed at this more often than we'd like to admit), and pressed even more eagerly into a relationship with Him? HUGE! 2012 could be even more mind blowing than the last year!

So that part about God actually answering prayers....sometimes He doesn't waste any time! Yesterday, Phil and I were in Sam's Club and he happened to notice a book with an oddly simple cover. He picked it up, read the back and just smiled. I immediately wanted to be in on the secret, but he wouldn't give me the book right away, simply stating that he knew if I read this book excerpt that things would change. He. Was. Right.

One of the biggest things that sticks out in my mind from being in Haiti is surprisingly not how much we have compared to how little they do. That was blatantly obvious, and I could have told you this fact without ever stepping foot in the country. Instead, it was the experience of finally giving God one full uninterrupted week of my complete devotion and utter dependence. And what I will also never forget is the experience of returning home to a life that simply gets in the way of my life with God. I'm painfully excited to see just how big God becomes in the Rimar household as life get awfully simple in the next 7 months.

Check back later and I'll talk more about what 7 will look like for us.