FRUSTRATED!
Ever miss a quiet time? I have. More than just a few times. It never ends well, and today was no exception. I only had 3 things on my plate...2 vet appointments and an oil change, but one full cup of spilled fruit punch later and my day had officially been labeled a disaster.
It was the unforeseen that had gotten me. The fact that I hadn't fully let go of my worry about some upcoming yet unavoidable expenses that I was taking notice of last night started things off. This coupled with my avoidance of time with God this morning could have looked something like me personally holding the door open for Satan today while asking God to move to the back of the line. Worst mistake ever. Three vet appointments all with yearly vaccines isn't exactly cheap, but finding out 1 dog tested positive for heartworms sent me edging towards that downward spiral. A text message from Phil confirmed that I had accidentally sent him to work with a turkey, ham, and cheese sandwich with a side of mold on the bread. He could have cared less, but I felt horrible. And the spiral continued. The oil change was awfully quick, but our trusted mechanic just wanted to inform me that the truck needed an alignment terribly bad and that the tires too should be checked out. I knew about the tires...they were on that list I was talking about from last night...but an alignment for the truck was not. Only an alignment for the SUV...sigh. The spiral continues. So does my headache, which has been confirmed to be due to the wisdom tooth trying oh so hard to finally make it's appearance in the 26th year of my life. My jaw and existing teeth don't agree. The 4 year avoidance of that expense is quickly coming to an end. All to be topped off by a glorious display of frustration (that I'm glad the only witness, my cat, cannot speak about) when I spilled my fruit punch flavored Mio water all over everything (including that cat).
So why do I say this all?! Because I want a pity party? Most certainly not. Although this has helped me vent a bit. I say it because the second after my glorious display of frustration I muttered an equally hilarious statement out of frustration..."why?!" while looking up with hands stretched out and palms up. A display that is almost instinctual, not necessarily an actual question for Him. However, I felt the oh so loving, gentle touch of God and I quickly knew exactly "why?!". I stopped communicating. He was there, all along, knowing exactly what was coming around each unforeseen corner today, but I chose to go about my day without Him. Without His help and strong arms to carry all of that anxiety and frustration. By not having some quiet time with Him, reading His word, I wasn't letting Him talk to me. Even more than that, I knew that my thinking about giving God all my previous financial worries was certainly not as productive as actually doing it. Actually praying to Him about it. So this afternoon (or prevening, as Phil calls this time of day) I spent some time catching up with Him. This no doubt has meant that the grass didn't get mowed and the laundry didn't get hung up, but I'm 'A okay' with that!
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