This past week I've really been struggling with something. As soon as I got back from Haiti I knew I wanted to go again...to be with the people there, continuing to show the love of God, and helping to rebuild their church. As the weeks drew on I started to feel a bit uneasy about the possible decision to return, especially within the same year. I just haven't felt God calling me to go back like I felt him clearly calling me to go last month. But, I still would give anything to be able to return.
Growing up I remember hearing these words from my parents...."I shouldn't have to ask you to do that. You should already know that it's expected." Sometimes parents, like our heavenly father, need to directly ask us to do something in order for us to learn its importance. But once we learn the importance of that task, do we really need to be asked each and every time to do it again or should we simply obey and do what we know is already expected?
Today, I started to wonder if God was just trying to get my attention for that June trip. Trying to teach me the importance of spreading His word to the ends of the world and showing His love to all. But now that I know the importance of this, does He really need to directly ask me to go and serve others each and every time? I certainly do not mean to say that I'll never be directed by Christ again, but I do wonder if this is why I want to go serve those in Haiti and haven't heard a clear calling by God this time.
To be honest, I'm just not sure and still searching for answers on this one....
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