Brynlee is going through a growth spurt and has been uber fussy, skipping all her naps, and nursing constantly...every hour or more. I had plans to start working out again today and ideally get to the grocery store for some healthy food options to go along with it. Those thoughts are certainly out the window for today. It's probably been the first day I've felt a bit overwhelmed.
I also realized today that it's been weeks since I've made quality time with my God who has blessed me with this little munchkin in the first place. But what's a new mommy to do?!? Skip a feeding and instead try and dive into the word...all while ignoring the screaming baby? Likely not. Feeling a bit desperate in the midst of her fussiness I attempted to at least read a devotion from one hand while trying to hold, pat, and console Bryn with the other. Needless to say that left me more frustrated than anything so I threw up the desperation prayer....you know the one, don't lie. We've all done it before. You get to the end, throw up the plead (which is likely the first conversation you've initiated with God in days or weeks), then immediately feel Satan's guilt and try your best just to move on.
Thankfully, God gets the victory and all the glory today. After another one of Bryn's many feedings she was in her typical milk drunkenness stupor, so I scooped her into my arms hoping to lull her into a nap. Instead, she woke quickly and started getting fussy yet again. But, I then remembered that just yesterday we spent a few minutes singing worship sings and she loved it. She lay in my arms, eyes wide, smiling at me while we worshiped together. I hoped for something similar when I grabbed my phone and turned on the music. If I couldn't accomplish a nap, maybe I could at least find a smile in my little munchkin today. But this time something different happened..she got completely relaxed and content. I didn't find a smile or that nap, but I did find a little girl resting with her Father for a few precious minutes...something we both got to do this afternoon.
While I don't always understand in the midst of struggles, I am always amazed at the blessings to be found when God gets the glory throughout them.
No comments:
Post a Comment